~!~ at last i think i know what i want ~!~

today yam cha with miki, kenny kor n christine..
meet dou pei they all..
chat alot of thing.. i realise i really need to think i should i do next..
i shouldn't sit there do nothing..
but i dunno whether i want study or work..
as what christine say work u will work for whole life edi..
maybe u all say i got family support. but i dun have.. haiz
kenny kor dun encourage me to stop studying..
haiz.. can u guys give me some idea..
i really stuck... i really want to cry out..!
hmm.. if i work this is what i choose for my future..
i want to do my best..
i dun dare to face it.. i really dun dare..
u girls maybe think im rich.. but im not..
last time i can say I AM!!
but now is NO.. cause no one know my family background..
small i need to face thing that i cant accept at all..
u girls wont understand.. now..?
financial problem.. what de fuck..
now de thing is i want to do my best that all..
dun block me what i do.. thank for de advise..
so sry to disappointed u mummy..
but 1 thing.. u never force what i do.. THANKS..
just want to be freedom.. dun want to think so much.. i rather i be de 1st to leave this world..
i will change very soon.. i promise..
no matter how i change.. i will still remember u girls..
my family backgroud is much more complicated then u all..
ya.. i have my sis.. but.. i dun want say..
once i leave here... is forever..
i choose it.. i need to face it.. i dun want to think about love..
just want my mum to live better.. that all..